Kerikil-kerikil kecil

I know that there's no such thing as being a perfect person, but why did God have to make people have drives to obtain this nonsense perfection? Don't people have there own flaws? It's just there decisions on whether to show them or not. I reckon flaws of people are merely hindrance of success and as a reminder for them that you can't make everything according to the demands of good. Special experiences in life are meant to trigger your curiosities to discover you not anyone else. Never in a million years I've met anyone who mentioned to have never made any mistakes in life. But what if the mistakes are done again? What if it can't stop? What if it's like addiction to substance or any other kinds of bad habits we can imagined. Barriers in society reflects the bounding chains of behaviours which can manipulate souls. I didn't recognize any wrongness of my actions until people begin to start discussing it, I realized that it was wrong to begin with, but I've kept doing it. I can't stop. My will of good was trapped underneath strong drives of excitement. Anyway, the only path I've chosen is to still be near God. I don't want to perceive myself as being confused and not knowing who I am. I've tried so hard to avoid that. But in fact, it turns that  don't know exactly. I act strong to make it seem like I was. I can't stand it anymore. For once, I want to be the one that is dependent on someone for something. Anything. But not too dependent of course. I don't want to and I can't be like this anymore. I have to find the balanced between power and living the actual life.




Can't I just start over, can it be just about me this time? I want this so bad. I want freedom, barriers of demands on good behaviours need to be broken for a while. Surfacing the urged of seeking real excitement in life is what I want to pursue. I want to try everything to be frank. But the question is, is it possible? How do I get out of the hole of boundaries of perfection?

element

       There was this book that I read but I haven't finished it yet because all of these damn assignments. Well anyway, this book was talking about finding your element. An element here is a state of mind, body and soul, that possess you in a good way though. It was quite interesting to read it, cause all of the examples given illustrate the major problem that we all have actually. It signifies that every person in this world has their own element. When people have found it, that it is easy to to go along with life because you would have something to hold on to that you can be proud of  

           Imagine yourself that you were to became this amazing person who knew that you want in life. You know your passion, you work with that passion, and you enter a world that is especially for you. Imagine how that would make you feel?? Wouldn't it be swell to have that? I know it would. As a person who is still searching for her element, I know what it's like to be stuck in situations where you don't know what your passion is in life, you like going to places without any particular purpose, and you get confused with the things that you do, you're never satisfied with yourself too. It's hard I know, but the thing is, we all go through these phases of confusion that sort of tangles and strangle you in a unique way. People in the book mentioned were very fast of finding their element because they had help from their closest people. We're like this right now because we haven't evaluate ourselves and extract the fundamental purpose that we each all have.          I guess that we're all wondering then, how do we find "this element'?? To be frank, I don't know too. I think there's supposed to be a start up line that we can follow and go along. Good luck. We all need it.

Bound To You

Sweet love, sweet love
Trapped in your love
I've opened up, unsure I can trust
My heart and I were buried in dust
Free me, free us

You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to you

So much, so young
I’ve faced on my own
Walls I built up became my home
I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us
Sweet love, so pure

I catch my breath with just one beating heart
And I brace myself, please don’t tear this apart

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to

Suddenly the moment’s here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all
Come this far just to fall, fall

Oh, I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains
And finally found my way
I am bound to you

I am,
Ooh, I am
I’m bound to you

Latent variable

           I've always thought that my major was some sort of discipline which covers all of the abstract ideas that a doctor can not touch. It's so difficult to uncover the deep feelings of people. I mean, how do you measure someone's appreciation over something? What about pain of heartbreak or misery caused by something untouchable such as a mistaken love that creeps into our souls. You never know when it would last, today, tomorrow or forever there is no idea on that. I for one refuse to be trapped in the tragic love story of love. Unlike some people, I don't think that love should be difficult, it just needs understanding from both sides actually. You don't need to burden yourself in the name of your love. Put it this way, you feel that right now your love is answered with a certain treatment which you thought was especially for you, but it turned out that  it was the same thing which that person had given to others.      

Marry Me - Train

Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm