Confusion

I'm beginning to realize that Erikson's theory on psychosocial development is actually applicable to my life specifically. Speaking about his theory I want to emphasize his stage of intimacy vs isolation stage. No wonder it felt like hell when you actually open your heart to someone but then you realize your not the same person you were before you were with him. That circled my mind and tangled up all of the connections of my neurons that was set to make a good network to link a certain concept. Never in a million years I started to consider again the doubts of this concept which I'm not going to say explicitly. For all of you guys who understood the virtue of Erikson's stages i bet you know what I'm talking about. It seems that this concept frames the mind as if it doesn't have the central control to navigate actions from stupidity. Stupidity refers to just silly verbal conversations accompanied by strange composure which girls tend to do when they're faced with that one guy who they think is the one. I for one object this concept to ever affect my actions that could lead to stupidity. But I got to say we're not all perfect in this world, I agree that it can affect you in a certain way, but it's just not that extreme for me. 

Traumatic past

Don't you think that everyone should have at least experienced one traumatic event in there past? I know I did. It was 10 years ago I think when the last years I was finishing elementary school. I had gone bike riding with my friends, there were 3 of them I think. And we'd gone across the road outside of my neighborhood. Then it started to rain. One of my friends asked me if I had some money with me. I think she wanted me to treat her I guess. Well, at that time I thought that we were just going to go to ride our bikes, so I didn't bring any. After that, she immediately said that it's time to end the bike riding activity. At first I thought that it was logical for her to end it because hello it was raining, drizzling I think. But a few seconds after she had said that, it struck me like a needle through my hand, she wanted to end it not only because of the rain but also because I didn't have any money with me. This "money incident" happened a couple of times but with different alterations of the situations. However, it was always her who initiated that I should be the one who always treat them and stuff. I know that they weren't as privileged as I was, but still, I always had this thought in my head that when people, and I mean any type of people, engage in what I know as friendship, they don't just hang out or play together because of their materialistic values. That's just mean and sick. People should have this wonderful bond because of the person that they are. Not because of their money per se.
So, all of the bullying events that I had encountered throughout my elementary years was the main reason why I wanted to study psychology. I want to find the answers why a kid my age was being treated like that. And why had my friends behaved in a certain way. Was it because of their own will or something else?
Answers, answers, that's what I need.

Maybe Yes and No

So anyway, I know that I'm supposed to go somewhere after these last 6 months in uni to move to another uni. I never thought that I was having doubts on whether I should go or not. It just seems so overwhelming to think about how would my parents pay for all of the living costs plus the tuition fees. Moving along, another doubt emerges because of me being afraid of not being able to follow the assignments at the future uni. It seemed like a a dream when Peter told us of what sort of things we should look out for, and other precautions that we need to know on how to survive in an Australian university. nonetheless, I figured that maybe I could survive if I could just keep my head up and don't easily crumble if and when hardship stumbles me around. Focusing on the doubt again, I'm not sure if I know what I'm suppose to do there and what type of minor I should study. The thought of failing creeps the bejeezez out of me because I don't want that to happen (I think all of you would agree on that too). So, let's just hope that everything will work out fine in the end. yep, that's probably the best way to look upon the doubts.